The Power of Positivity

After a particularly emotionally draining Monday, I had to meet at my daughter's high school to discuss classes for next year.  While there, new behaviour strategies were also touched on.  When my daughter entered the room after class, she told us of a couple of the steps she achieved regarding her behaviour.  Three of us acknowledged those milestones with "that's awesome" or "great job", however one of the other resource teachers answered with a "but, your still doing..." without putting in the positive side.  You could see my daughter slowly deflating.  I continued to praise her progress as we were leaving to go home.  I wondered, though, how is her school setting her up for success then, if they can't see their way clear to acknowledge the positive things she's doing?  When she's told she's bad all the time, where is the incentive for her to do well?

Why does it seem so much easier for people to say negative things than it is the positive?  That has baffled me for a long time.  It just seems that people find it easier to criticize someone (even someone they don't even know) than to offer a compliment.  I'm finding that people are using social media to bash other people as well - people they don't even know.  I guess it's even easier to slam a person you can't see.  That way, you can't see how much your words hurt.

I remember a line that Julia Roberts said in "Pretty Woman", when Richard Gere's character, Edward, offered Vivian (Julia Roberts) a compliment.  Her line was "the bad stuff is easier to believe".  Wow.  Why is that?  Why do we find it easier to believe the bad stuff about ourselves and not the good?  My theory - because we only hear the bad stuff first; the good stuff is almost like a "footnote" ("oh by the way, you did this well...").

I believe for anyone's mindset to change, the positive has to be focused on first.  Give compliments where they're due.  You can also discuss negative things in a way that doesn't make them sound too negative. ("Maybe we can work on this issue...").  Start telling someone they've done a great job, or wish them luck on a project or interview.  Wish someone a great day or say hello to someone.  Maybe we can eventually break down the negative barriers and build up positive thinking.