Last week was one of those weeks where nothing seemed to go right. It put me in a funk that I couldn't seem to get out of. I don't like being in a funk, and while I was trying to find my way out of feeling this way, I was also trying to find the cause. Then it hit me - words. Everything I did that week seemed to generate negative words and I remember thinking, "Wow, the pen really IS mightier than the sword."
This, of course, sent me off on another tangent. I thought of all the negativity I experienced over my lifetime, and believe me, it was a long, scary list. Picture being a parent and your daughter attending pre-school, only to have the teacher tell you she has "grave concerns about your daughter's future," and then being told over and over again that her future is grim. Imagine having a dream shattered because someone thought you weren't good enough, or were too old.
Then my good friend and sister of my heart, Roz, made a comment that slowly brought me out of my funk. She made a comment about being worried that life was passing her by, and what had she done with her life, and it set my mind thinking in another direction. I thought, "what HAVE I done with my life?"
When I took a step in that direction, I realized that while I've not yet accomplished everything I wanted to, I can still make a difference in my life. I thought about how much I sacrificed my own dreams of being a screenwriter to make sure my daughter could have a happy and productive life. When I look back now at all the naysayers, I just shake my head and think "wow, you really didn't know my daughter at all." She is going to graduate next year, right alongside her peers. I have a son who is a joy to me. I have a house, and a job.
Now, I'm trying to achieve my dream of becoming a screenwriter. Certainly, I have work to do on that, but I've received some good feedback - things that I can use to improve. I have had most of letters to the editor published; I was asked to a press conference to present something I wrote because people felt the passion behind it and felt that I needed to share it. I take pride in the fact that I am embarking on this journey at my age, and hope that I will see one of my creations on the TV screen one day. I am in the process of writing a spin-off of the TV show, "Bones" and I have a few more projects I am working on. I am hoping someday that someone will take me under their wing and teach me more and help me achieve my dream.
This week made me also reflect how powerful the written word is. We need to consider every word we write or say, because it's all in the context of how the words are written. We need to choose our words carefully because once something is out there, it can't be taken back. One can delete the words or toss them in the trash, but they are already etched into our brains.
I hope to use my words on my projects to entertain and intrigue and make people smile. I hope one day, everyone can see a show I wrote on TV and know that my heart and soul went into that project and that my words will indeed have a positive impact on those who watch it.
