To Discipline or Not Discipline - That is the Question

This subject has been on my mind all week, especially in the wake of the controversy surrounding the video by Tommy Jordan where he shoots his daughter's laptop.  I thought what he did was brilliant, although I thought shooting the laptop was a little extreme.

I know there were a lot of people who thought he shouldn't be using the social media for this, however, those people missed the point of the exercise.  First of all, his daughter used the very same media to rant about how much work she supposedly has to do at home.  Now we all know that kids, especially teenagers, will exaggerate to garner sympathy from their peers (the worse the story is the more sympathy they get).  Instead of his daughter expressing her feelings to just a few of her friends, she chose to put it on Face book.  The only reason she got caught was because she had used an account that was under the dog's name (she created this one herself, because she had blocked her parents from seeing her Face book).  However, her dad works in IT and since she wanted him to fix her computer, voila, her stuff got exposed to him. 

From the updates that I read, Hannah (his daughter) had pulled a very similar stunt months before, and she was grounded then.  It was not put on the social media then, and Mr. Jordan rightfully assumed that she had learned her lesson.  Apparently not, because she did it again.  So, now he was stooping to her level and catching her at her own game - she humiliated her parents, and now he was serving her some humble pie himself.  He did what he thought would be the best way to get through to her.  I see nothing wrong with that - she didn't learn the first time, so something a little more drastic that would get her attention needed to be done.  Hannah also posted on the update, and she understood what her dad did; she did learn her lesson from it, and realizes that if she ever expects to get any privileges, etc. back again, then she needs to earn them back.  She basically violated her parents' trust in her and now she needs to earn that back.  She isn't scarred by it either, as some people posted.  She completely understands what she did was wrong and is now working to correct it.

Kids nowadays have this weird sense of entitlement, and figure that they can get away with things.  I had my 9 year old son watch the video, and I asked him at the end what he learned from it.  Granted, there were a lot of bad words in it (mostly from Hannah, I might add), and he said to me "don't dis your parents."  He then went on to say that if him or his sister ever did anything like that, I certainly wouldn't use a gun - I would use a hammer instead!

I see so many kids with a lack of direction or discipline these days, I can't help but wonder what they will be like as adults.  Even at my son's elementary school (which is a Catholic school no less), there are kids as young as 6 or 7 using bad language, fighting, etc.  Obviously, these are learned behaviours, but the point is that are the parents that oblivious to how their kids are behaving?

It's amazing that some of these parents will ignore what their kids are doing, yet they are the first to pipe up if someone else's kid is acting up.

There are many experts out there who tell us how we should be raising our children.  I never listen to these experts.  Why?  Because every kid is different, and what works for one kid may not work for another.  Some kids get the point right away, other need a few more "lessons" taught to them before they get it.  My daughter is one of those kids.  She is a teenager, but she is also special needs.  So, when she acts up, the discipline is going to be different for her than it is for her brother.  She doesn't "get it" right away - she may need a few other "lessons" (i.e. having her computer privileges taken away) before it sinks in.  With my son, it usually only takes one time and he's got it.

I am by no means saying that my children are angels either. They make mistakes like we do and they have to learn to correct them. My daughter is learning right now as a matter of fact that when you break equipment at school (or anywhere), you have to pay for it (not your parents - you). She isn't happy with it, but it's a life lesson for her - you break, you buy.

I know I may take some flak from this, but my point is that you have to discipline your children the way you know works (within reason of course; that doesn't mean you need to beat them black and blue), but they need to realize that there are consequences to their actions.  Once this happens, they can grow up to be productive members of society, who look out for others, not just themselves.


Anyway, I look forward to everyone's opinion on this subject, just please keep it clean!

Old Habits Die Hard

We've all heard that expression, right?  I had to laugh the other day when someone questioned as to why I write appointments, etc. on my calendar at home instead of using an electronic calendar.  I not only write it down there, but I make sure the one in my purse is updated, and when I get to work, I update my day timer at work as well!  Seems like a lot of work, but that's what I'm used to doing.  I like to see what is coming up for the next few days.  I also have birthdays written down on the calendar as well.

The answer is that I don't have my cellphone on all the time, so I would miss some important dates if I didn't have it on or didn't have it with me.  I don't have my computer on all the time either, so again, it would defeat the purpose.  Plus, even if I updated my electronic calendar at work, I wouldn't see it until 4:30, when I start my shift!!  So for me, this is the best way to go.

Writing things on the actual calendar, which is hanging on the bulletin board by the dining room table serves a couple of purposes:  not only does it tell me what is going on in the coming days, it tells the rest of the family as well - the kids know what is coming up on any given day (dentist/doctor's appointments, etc.), holidays, and whatnot.  It also helps when someone calls me and asks if we are available on a certain day, I just take a quick look and tell them right away.

Call me old fashioned, but I like to be able just to look up at the calendar and know what's happening.  Whenever the kids or the hubby asks if we have anything going on on a certain day, I just tell them to look on the calendar, because it'll be written there.  I guess old habits do die hard, but this is one habit I can't see changing!

Does Common Sense Exist Anymore?

The other day, I had a discussion with one of the mom's at my son's school about common sense.  The conversation started when I noted the amount of people who park in the bus zone (and in fact, right at the bus stop), on the road in front of my son's school.  Parking is always an issue there - the reason being is that parking is no longer allowed in the cul-de-sac beside my son's school.

Parking in the cul-de-sac became a very hot topic as there were those who chose to park in front of resident's drive ways and left their vehicles to walk their kids to the doors.  The residents who live across from the school in that cul-de-sac loudly voiced their displeasure, and as a result, the cul-de-sac is now a drop off only area.  So, now, those that want to park have moved to the street.  However, their common sense has not gotten any better - they still block driveways and bus zones!

Parking in the bus zone/stop is not only dangerous to the people disembarking, but to other drivers as well.  The bus now has to stop in the driving lane to let passengers off.  They run the risk of being hit or slipping and falling under one of these vehicles or the bus itself, especially if the roadway hasn't been cleared.  In doing so, the bus is also holding up traffic, or runs the risk of someone hitting the bus from behind.  

Now depending on the bus driver, he will call it in to say that there are cars obstructing the bus zone/stop.  Interestingly enough, it is the same people who do it every day - at least the same vehicles are there every day.  The problem is by the time law enforcement gets there, these violators are already gone, having picked up their children.

I observe this every single day as I go to pick up my son. I'm someone who makes sure my car is clear of someone's driveway; it's common sense. Yet, it is always the same people who are violating these basic driving rules, all the time, every day. The funniest part? There is one lady who blocks two driveways (she parks between them, along the small grassy area in between the two houses), and her husband is a driving instructor! Wow - remind me not to send my children to that driving school! She even makes a u-turn in the middle of the road to park in that spot. Amazing.

It's scary to think that these are the same people who will be teaching their own kids to drive later in life.  I would by then, common sense would prevail, and they would take responsibility for their actions, though I'm not holding my breath on that one.