Reflections

As I reflect on the events of the week, I can't help but feel a bit in awe of what transpired.  My child, graduating high school!  Why would this be such an event, some might wonder?  Because my child has Asperger's.  She graduated from mainstream classes, not special classes, a feat in itself.

I reflected on 13 years ago, when she was diagnosed at the age of 4.  Had we listened to what the "experts" told us would be her life, we would never have been on this journey with her.  Even at the age of 4, I was often told she was "too old" for early intervention classes.  Nor would she ever have entered the mainstream school system, and would have forever been doing things that she has proven "too smart" for.  She has always wanted to take the easy road, but I wanted her to challenge herself.  Certainly the journey has not always been a bed of roses; in fact, there were lots of frustrating days.  Things that would seem like were progressing well would suddenly turn and we would have to start over again.

Upon reflection, I'm glad I did things the way I did.  My daughter has inspired so many others, and made me extremely proud.  Not only is she graduating high school (and no, she wasn't "handed" a diploma, she earned it herself), but she is completing her work experience hours, and will be a published author, having written some poetry about the turtles at the school.   Had we listened to those "experts" who told us "she'll never have an imagination", she may have never had the chance to have one of her poems published.

Now, I find that PETA is sending the wrong message about dairy products being the cause of autism.  The message they are reflecting is that autism sucks, and that the dairy industry is to blame.  True that some people with autism cannot tolerate certain foods, but it doesn't mean that it is the cause of their autism.  This sends the same message as the vaccine debate.  It is wrong and just causes more confusion than ever about what causes autism.

My advice to those going through what we did - never give up.  See your child's potential and work with it.  There is nothing that they can't do - I know some who are comedians, artists, authors, etc.  One need only look at Temple Grandin's accomplishments to know that the potential is there.  So, get out there and find that niche - your child will surprise you!

Music and Lyrics

As I watched the video below today, I got to thinking how music really influences our lives.  This guy, with just one song, managed to make several motorists smile, and some to even sing along.   Wouldn't it be great if we can get people to do that all the time?  It would cut down on road rage for one thing, but more importantly, it would lift spirits of those who could really use a lift.  I also posted a quote from Neil Pasricha's book "The Book of Awesome," about how finding a mixed tape from an old boyfriend or girlfriend was awesome.  I remember an old boyfriend of mine leaving a 45 record in the mailbox at my parents' place - it was "Babe" by Styx.  He left it because he was moving to another city.  He was always one to use music as way of expressing his feelings.

Which brings me to another point - there seems to be a song for every sort of situation, whether it's a sad moment, a funny moment, a passionate moment, etc., there's a song to suit that particular mood.

Now I admit I'm not the best singer in the world, but I enjoy it, and restrict it mostly to my own house, but regardless, there's usually quite a few songs that make me bust out in song.  I have my iPod on everyday, on the iPod dock; I have the radio on in the car; I have the radio on at work.  It just seems odd to me to not have some kind of music playing in the background.  It just seems too quiet without it.  I remember my mom having the radio on all the time at home too.

So, have a watch and listen to the video.  If it doesn't inspire you, I don't know what will!  Granted, with the weather being what it is right now (cold, minus 14), it's a little hard to crank down the window and belt out a song and see who plays along, but even if you're inside somewhere, just go ahead and sing along!  I know I'm going to try what this guy did as soon as the weather warms up here!

This Cute Guy Singing With Total Strangers Stuck In Traffic Will Make Your Heart Melt | Thought Catalog

The Negativity Gene

Recently, I had a conversation with someone (whom I've known for many years), who has a tendency to quell any dreams or aspirations that anyone might have.  He asked what was new and I explained that I was in the process of finding some screenwriting courses but was hitting a few roadblocks.  He then told me that perhaps the universe was telling me that I should give up on this, since it wasn't working out and that perhaps I waited too long to pursue this.  My response was that if you encounter a roadblock, find a detour - it may take you further out of your way, but eventually you get to where you're going.   He still insisted that I should pursue another path. 

I wondered about this, since he has been this way for years, and figured that maybe at some point he might have changed his outlook on life.  Not so - he's exactly the same as he always been.  He is someone I prefer not to talk to on a regular basis, just because he's such a downer.  I hung up the phone and shook my head.  Of course, his words still stuck with me and I started (though briefly) to second-guess my decision.

Then, I heard a report not long ago that now there might actually be a "negativity gene" that people possess and it may well explain all the negativity in world.  My first thought was "oh, maybe that's his problem."  Though it hasn't been proven yet, it sounds to me like another excuse people will use for being this way.  In this case, it sounded more to me like jealousy - this person hasn't made anything of his life - he's in the same place in his life as he was 20 years ago, and so, he doesn't want to see anyone else make anything of their life either.  It would just remind him of the fact that he hasn't moved forward with his life at all.

It seems that for every positive person out there, two negative people are right behind them, either complaining about anything and everything, or finding some reason why someone shouldn't pursue their dreams or continuing doing what makes them happy.  It doesn't seem to matter whether it's work or recreation or whatever, there is someone somewhere whispering a negative reason why you shouldn't be doing it the way you are.

Certainly, there are going to be things in life that get to you and we can vent and rant about it.  The trick is not to let it rule your life.  Once you get it out of your system, replace it with positives.  More often then not, there are people who will offer support and get you back on track.

If there is indeed a "negativity gene", then how to we treat it?  There have always been the "glass have full" kind of people and the "glass half empty" kind of people and there always will be.  I'm one of those "glass half full" kind of people.

Is there a "positivity gene" out there?  If so, I hope it prevails over the negative one.  The solution, I think, is to make sure you see the positive in every situation.  If someone is trying to dispel your aspirations, dreams or hard work, strike back with the positive reasons why you should.  No matter what your dreams or aspirations are, no one can take that away from you.

The only way to fight this "negative gene" is to strike back with a positive one.  This is what the world needs right now.  Down with the negatives, up with the positives!

I haven't let it stop me from pursuing what I want to do.  Though journey can be long and discouraging at times, I know that I will find a way to get to where I want to be.

Words

Last week was one of those weeks where nothing seemed to go right.  It put me in a funk that I couldn't seem to get out of.  I don't like being in a funk, and while I was trying to find my way out of feeling this way, I was also trying to find the cause.  Then it hit me - words.  Everything I did that week seemed to generate negative words and I remember thinking, "Wow, the pen really IS mightier than the sword."

This, of course, sent me off on another tangent.  I thought of all the negativity I experienced over my lifetime, and believe me, it was a long, scary list.  Picture being a parent and your daughter attending pre-school, only to have the teacher tell you she has "grave concerns about your daughter's future," and then being told over and over again that her future is grim.  Imagine having a dream shattered because someone thought you weren't good enough, or were too old.

Then my good friend and sister of my heart, Roz, made a comment that slowly brought me out of my funk.  She made a comment about being worried that life was passing her by, and what had she done with her life, and it set my mind thinking in another direction.  I thought, "what HAVE I done with my life?"

When I took a step in that direction, I realized that while I've not yet accomplished everything I wanted to, I can still make a difference in my life.  I thought about how much I sacrificed my own dreams of being a screenwriter to make sure my daughter could have a happy and productive life.  When I look back now at all the naysayers, I just shake my head and think "wow, you really didn't know my daughter at all."  She is going to graduate next year, right alongside her peers.  I have a son who is a joy to me.  I have a house, and a job.

Now, I'm trying to achieve my dream of becoming a screenwriter.  Certainly, I have work to do on that, but I've received some good feedback - things that I can use to improve.   I have had most of letters to the editor published; I was asked to a press conference to present something I wrote because people felt the passion behind it and felt that I needed to share it.  I take pride in the fact that I am embarking on this journey at my age, and hope that I will see one of my creations on the TV screen one day.  I am in the process of writing a spin-off of the TV show, "Bones" and I have a few more projects I am working on.  I am hoping someday that someone will take me under their wing and teach me more and help me achieve my dream.

This week made me also reflect how powerful the written word is.  We need to consider every word we write or say, because it's all in the context of how the words are written.  We need to choose our words carefully because once something is out there, it can't be taken back.  One can delete the words or toss them in the trash, but they are already etched into our brains.

I hope to use my words on my projects to entertain and intrigue and make people smile. I hope one day, everyone can see a show I wrote on TV and know that my heart and soul went into that project and that my words will indeed have a positive impact on those who watch it.

Time for Confession

I hadn't realized that it had been since March that I wrote anything.  Wow.  I guess I've been so busy with other writing projects, work and household needs that I have neglected my "Confessions".  So much has gone on since my last post that I couldn't narrow down just one topic.  One of the biggest things that happened in June was the worst flooding our province has ever seen.  This time, it actually effected our city too, though, thankfully, not us because of the area we live in, but even as I write this, there are still a lot of people without a home or belongings.  It put things into perspective.  I saw people of this city pull together and help out perfect strangers.  I also saw some of the seedier side of people, the scammers taking advantage of people.

It hasn't been a particularly great summer here either.  June was the wettest I can remember.  July wasn't really that warm.  August is looking better, but now fall is around the corner.  Regardless, we did manage to get a couple of camping trips in this summer.  I must confess, though, that I am not looking forward to winter. 

As summer winds down, I do look forward to once again sitting down and getting some of my writing projects completed and hopefully, marketed.  As much as I enjoy having my kids at home, I think (though they would never admit it), they are secretly, to some extent anyway, wishing for school to start.  My daughter only has one year left; my son, 6 years.  I look forward to the new adventure my daughter will be embarking on, but a little anxious for her too.

So, while I confess that I've been lax in writing this blog, I look forward to the next little while where I can concentrate and have the time to put in my two cents' worth on life around me.

I hope you will continue reading and become a follower!

Priorities?

Recently, I embarked on the journey to help my daughter, Angela, transition to adulthood.  Most would wonder, "Why" but since she is someone who has a disability, the transitioning period for her is a huge task.  Many of the supports she has in place now will end the day she turns 18.  The journey (as I call it), is to now find the supports for her that cater to her age and needs when she becomes a young adult.  I figured I was in for a smooth ride, since she already has supports and funding in place.

What an eye opener I was in for!  When I submitted the application for government funding, I needed to also send in her educational/intellectual assessment that was done in school for her.  This agency has set an IQ limit of 70, which I knew she would be over, but there were also other criteria.  As well, this assessment indicated that it was not possible for an IQ to be determined for Angela, as she had a lot of other things going on as well, such as OCD and ADHD.  The person who helped me with the application process was confident that given that analysis, she would likely be able to get some sort of funding.

I met with the agency on Monday, March 18, only for them to tell me that Angela had been turned down for funding, based on the fact that she is "too smart".  She met 2 out of the 3 criteria, but IQ was the deciding factor.  I asked then what the next step was.  I got told there is an appeal process and handed a list of other places to call.  And that was it.  They acknowledged that she is going to need support in other areas, and that there were several other like her that "fall through the cracks".  So, it made me wonder, what about those ones then?  How is the government going to deal with them?

On the drive home, I pondered these very questions.  Are they the ones we are going to see on the streets, with no place to go and nothing to do?  Is this how the government deals with the situation - waiting until they've hit rock bottom and then wonder why it's costing so much money to keep them off the streets and out of jail? 

My anger only swelled when the following day, I read that the government (and this is provincial, not federal) has decided to spend $187 million replacing gambling machines (VLTs) - money they supposedly don't have, so that they can set "limits" on how much people can spend at the machines!  In the meantime, the current budget details no money for programs such as what Angela and others like her need to become contributing members of society!  It is obvious that the province has difficulties figuring out where the priorities lay.  Teachers, health care (which should include the aforementioned programs) and the environment are where the focus should be, not on gambling machines!  It seems that whenever a budget comes down, the most vulnerable in society are the ones that suffer.

That being said, I most certainly plan on appealing.  And I will mention this serious flaw in the distribution of funds and also the fact that despite Angela's intellectual abilities, she still needs help in other areas - social skills (which is in important in finding a job), transportation, further education, accommodations/independent living, etc. - all things we take for granted.

My hope is that through my appeal, I can at least make my voice heard for all those that do fall through the cracks and hopefully, seal those cracks by forward-thinking instead of backwards thinking.  Maybe its time the government starts listening.  But then, that would be a feat in and of itself.

The Little Pond that Could

It's official.  The pond that has been in the neighbourhood longer than I have (I've been here 18 years) is gone.  The water has been drained and replaced now with bulldozers and dirt.  It used to be a haven for various waterfowl, including ducks, great blue herons, avocets, plovers and the occasional Canada goose.  I used to enjoy seeing the pond teeming with all sorts of birds on my drive to work.  In the winter, someone would go and shovel out a section for skating.  They even left a fire pit for everyone to enjoy afterward.

I felt angry that our community association would let a construction project of this magnitude go on, especially since the signs read that the land is for lease for retail/restaurant space.  Ironically, we already have those things not 5 minutes down the road.  I launched a one-person campaign to get some answers - I fired off emails to the construction company, our alderman, our community association.  My biggest question was the timing - this was happening during nesting season - the waterfowl had little ones who were too young to fly - where would they go?  My letter to the Calgary Herald was ultimately published in the Calgary Herald, but yielded no real answers either.

Then another letter and article about the pond appeared in the paper as well.  I wasn't the only one concerned.  Another family, who's kids loved to come down to the pond to see the ducks, were also concerned about the timing of the pond being drained.  The pond got a reprieve for awhile - the construction company relented and decided to leave the pond alone until the ducks were old enough to fly away.  Then they would continue with draining it.

Most of the summer went by and the pond, in most of its glory (what was leftover from the previous draining) continued to harbour the birds.

As soon as September hit, the water pump was back, draining the water out again.  The ducks continued swimming, even as the water levels were slowly decreasing.  Finally, the pond was empty, save for one small corner.

As I watch now, that little corner of the pond is still there - and surprising, still harbouring the same waterfowl that called it home for so long.  That little corner is little more than a puddle, but it is teeming with ducks - even amid the earth movers and bulldozers.  It seems that the pond and it's inhabitants are launching their own little protest - refusing to go away.  The ducks are refusing to leave what is left of their home and the pond it seems, is trying hard to keep what little water is has left.  The resiliency of nature leaves me in awe.  It saddens me to drive by there now and see nothing but dirt instead of what was once a home to wildlife, but give myself a little smile to see that little corner still there, teeming with life.  Amazing.